Yes, that would be Emma on her birthday dipping a Twinkie into a can of condensed milk. Do you know what the expiration date is on a package of Twinkies?
I asked Bruce to check, and with a face straight enough for me to believe him, he said, 6/2024. Yet I still let my child dip that “little piece of heaven” (her words exactly) into condensed milk on her birthday in June of 2009. I did the math. I counted the grams of sugar. I waited for the Mommy Police….
Here’s what Emma wanted on The Day (in spite of our offering to take her to Crustacean, her favorite restaurant in LA): Twinkies and condensed-milk dipping sauce; Hostess cupcakes; sugar-coated donettes; chocolate milk; peach-mango juice (which has about a million grams of sugar per eight ounces); marshmallow fluff; and colored sprinkles. The last two items were eaten with a spoon, straight from the bottle. I stayed in my office all day so I didn’t have to witness a single bite.
Emma’s plans for The Day didn’t end with the menu. My angel’s b’day wish was a pajama day during which time she would be allowed all the screen time she wanted with nobody (that would be me) saying…these are direct quotes, “Emma, time to get off the computer,” “Emma, no more tv,” “Emma, clean up your room,” “Emma, practice the piano.”
At 7 am, when she came into our room and I requested a cuddle she didn’t miss a beat, “No asking me to do anything all day today, remember?” As if…
So from 7 am to 10 pm, Emma’s wish was granted. The only break she took from her screens (you do the math) was for snacking on her stash and for dinner, which was…her favorite…Japanese Ground Chicken and Egg over Rice. All was not lost.